Saturday, January 14, 2006
Bloody but Unbowed
I know some are as excited about football and the team from Foxboro, MA as K. is about hearing Sam Beam whisper another song but as the Patriots take a depleted but recovering team into Denver I have to hold out hope for at least a chance to win three straight Super Bowls and enter the pantheon as the greastest football dynasty ever in an era that is designed to prevent such dynasties. That and the postcards of Brokeback Mountain that El Duderino keeps sending me keep me going.
The funniest and best sportswriter not named Gammons, Bill Simmons aka Sports Guy (who happens to hail from Boston and is a Pats fan too) has his picks for the weekend games and offers sage advice on gambling, including the following:
1. Never fully trust anyone named Manning.
2. Never wager on a Giants game in which a crazy-looking LT might be prowling the sidelines and looking like he's about to ask a bummed-out Carl Banks for money during every timeout.
3. Beware of young quarterbacks at home or on the road, especially anyone who calls Phil Simms "Dad."
4. If you have a large amount of money wagered on a team that loses its starting QB within two plays, and Jon Kitna comes off the bench to replace him, just throw some clothes in a bag and start driving south.