The view from the sofa (aka A Study in Clutter)

The Bad Sex in Fiction Awards are out from Literary Review, Iain Hollingshead was this year's winner, for a passage in his first novel Twentysomething:

"She's wearing a short, floaty skirt that's more suited to July than February. She leans forward to peck me on the cheek, which feels weird, as she's never kissed me on the cheek before. We'd kissed properly the first time we met. And that was over three years ago. But the peck on the cheek turns into a quick peck on the lips. She hugs me tight. I can feel her breasts against her chest. I cup my hands round her face and start to kiss her properly, She slides one of her slender legs in between mine. Oh Jack, she was moaning now, her curves pushed up against me, her crotch taut against my bulging trousers, her hands gripping fistfuls of my hair. She reaches for my belt. I groan too, in expectation. And then I'm inside her, and everything is pure white as we're lost in a commotion of grunts and squeaks, flashing unconnected images and explosions of a million little particles."

The rest of the shortlisted plus previous years winners can be found here. The nominees include Thomas Pynchon and Irvine Welsh. I have barely started the first and could not finish the other.